Having sex is a very natural thing for partners to do, especially those trying to conceive naturally. Especially when you are trying for a baby, having sexual intercourse almost every day around the fertility window ( 14 days before the next period occurs is the time that a uterus owner is more fertility and the chances for a pregnancy are higher than the rest of the days) and usually more times than ones throughout a day is the "normal". And then it happens. A pregnancy is on its way! The goal has been achieved! So...What about sex after that glorious day of the positive pregnancy test and before birth? Do you...forget about it?
Let's find out together through this article!
Disclaimer: Midwifery is a very inclusive and safe space for everyone, where your identity and your needs are valid and important to us. Thus, the terms used in this article aim towards making everyone feel comfortable and included.
Uterus owner (person with a uterus, uterus having person) <--> person with female genitalia
[if you feel that you are not included at any point, please contact us and help us change that]
© NIKOLETA CHATZIPANAGIOTIDOU, SOME RIGHTS RESERVED 01/08/2021
Why sex is so much of a deal during pregnancy?
Many answers have been given to this question throughout the years. Sexual intercourse with penetration is the root of the problem. As we all know, during that the penis inserts the vaginal opening and it can reach the lowest part of the cervical canal, thus the thought of sex during pregnancy might seem a little scary.
Truth be told, during the first trimester (the first three months after the lost period) of the pregnancy, it is generally advised that sex is done with a little more care because this is the most important and also vulnerable period out of the 9 months due to the creating of the organs. A penis or a penetrative sex toy cannot penetrate beyond the vagina, and the baby cannot tell what's going on, so just be a little more loving and careful and you're good to go!
When should it be avoided?
According to Mayo Clinic, breast stimulation, female orgasms and certain hormones in semen called prostaglandins can cause uterine contractions.
Your health care provider might recommend avoiding sex if:
You have unexplained vaginal bleeding
You're leaking amniotic fluid
Your cervix begins to open prematurely (cervical incompetence)
Your placenta partly or completely covers your cervical opening (placenta previa)
You have a history of preterm labor or premature birth
What positions are better?
The answer to that question differs for everyone. It is totally up to you and to your likings! However, it can be slightly uncomfortable to be laid completely flat on your back with that pregnant belly of yours and generally speaking that is not the best position to be in during pregnancy. That is said because the uterus will be pressing on some of the biggest vessels in your abdomen, thus it should probably be avoided.
Oral sex is also safe during pregnancy. As your pregnancy progresses, experiment to find what works best. Let your creativity take over, as long as you keep mutual pleasure and comfort in mind, as Mayo Clinic suggests.
Conclusion
Sex is a big part of a relationship and it can be very beneficial during pregnancy. It will boost the pregnant person's confidence and it will strengthen the bond between you. HOWEVER, if you don't want to have sex or you are not in the mood that is absolutely okay. Sexual intercourse is only okay when it's done with mutual consent, thus never feel obligated to do something you are not ready or not okay with.
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Reference list
Mayo Clinic. (2018). Sex during pregnancy: What’s OK, what’s not. [online] Available at: https://www.mayoclinic.org/healthy-lifestyle/pregnancy-week-by-week/in-depth/sex-during-pregnancy/art-20045318.
nhs.uk. (2020). Sex in pregnancy. [online] Available at: https://www.nhs.uk/pregnancy/keeping-well/sex/.
WebMD. (n.d.). Sex During and After Pregnancy. [online] Available at: https://www.webmd.com/baby/guide/sex-and-pregnancy#1.
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