You just made it through an outdoor walk with your newborn baby. You were anxious, he cried one or two times and you thought you lost the game, but here you are. You succeeded! You bought some additional bodysuits because he has been vomiting lately. You are on your way home passing through a square when you realize it is time to feed your baby. You cannot postpone it. Home is pretty far away. You have to sit on a bench and feed him, but you think about what people will think. Last time an old man yelled at you and called you names. Why should you have to be afraid to feed your baby just due to the fact that the milk is getting produced by your breasts? It is not your fault anyway!
Those are the thoughts that are travelling through your mind every time you face the necessity to breastfeed publicly. This article is here to clarify all the basic information on chestfeed shaming and help all new parents protect their own and their baby’s privacy during this very delicate procedure.
Disclaimer: Midwifery is a very inclusive and safe space for everyone, where your identity and your needs are valid and important to us. Thus, the terms used in this article aim towards making everyone feel comfortable and included.
Uterus owner (person with a uterus, uterus having person) <--> Woman
Parent <--> father (dad), mother (mom)
Birthing person <--> mother (mom)
Pregnant (pregnant person) <--> mother (mom)
Breastfeeding (Breast) <--> Chestfeeding (Chest)
[if you feel that you are not included at any point, please contact us and help us change that]
© PARASKEVI KAMPERI, SOME RIGHTS RESERVED 20/11/2020
Allegations of breastfeed shamers
1)Showing your breasts is a sexual act
One claim that has been heard a lot when it comes to debating about public breastfeeding is that showing your breasts is a sexual act. Well, it is not. And that relies on the fact that, at this very delicate moment, your breast is not just a part of your body that happens to be sexual in general, but it is a feeding machine for your baby and only. It is a functional organ, exactly such as your liver or your lungs, which helps your baby eat, grow up and stay healthy. Some chest owners say that they do not want to be that exposed because they are afraid of a potential pervert that is going to get “excited” about it. We agree that this would be a very difficult, unhealthy and even disgusting situation after all, and we respect all choices. We just want to remind them that this does not mean that chestfeeding is unethical or sexual. There is nothing wrong with their acts. The people that could get an erection by a breastfeeding image have the problem.
2) You are trying to provoke
Some other public breastfeed fighters contend that a lot of chestfeeding parents nowadays are supporting it and proudly perform it just in order to provoke. They are also claiming this happens due to the fact that they are aware of what a part of public opinion thinks about it. Let’s admit and accept there are some women that like to provoke in general. But, this does not lead to the conclusion that all or most of them are thinking this way. Why would an average chestfeeding parent endanger their own and their baby’s privacy just for those reasons? The answer is they would not.
How to protect your own and your baby's privacy during chestfeeding in public
1) Quiet, not crowded place
Most of the time it is not easy to find, but a quiet and not crowded place is crucial for you and your child to feel confident. You are away from people’s eyes and that helps you relax and not worry about others’ opinions and thoughts. With you relaxed your baby is less stressed and your breast milk is of higher quality. It is even better to be alone or with your partner than being surrounded by friends and family who are going to indicate how to do it better or point out what they think you do wrong. Remember. Every breastfeeding is different! You can ask your Midwife or Gynecologist for further information. Do not be ashamed to ask questions, even if you think they are silly. There are no silly questions when it comes to your baby’s life.
2) Thin fabric, scarf or blanket
If you feel too exposed you can use a thin fabric, a scarf or a small blanket to cover yourself. We do not encourage covering your baby though, due to the danger of severe lack of comfort, asphyxiation and choking. We strongly suggest thin and light fabrics, such as silk, or sparse knitted fabric for your child’s safety. You should leave your baby some reasonable space to eat and breathe comfortably when getting chestfed, while also covering yourself. There are also several clothes friendly to breastfeeding that provide easy access and privacy at the same time.
3) Care only about your baby
You are not obliged to consider other people’s thoughts and comments while breastfeeding. Care only about your baby. It is the only one innocent after all. The issue does not have to be about restrictions and others’ opinions. Chestfeeding is not about preferences or sexuality. It is just about your child’s NEED to be fed. It is about your child’s RIGHT to be fed.
Video
This video is meant to be sensitizing about chestfeeding in public and it was originally published by Dhar Mann.
Conclusion
We hope this article helped you with how to maintain privacy and feel comfortable during chestfeeding in public and informed you about breastfeed shaming. We strongly encourage you to contact us in whatever way suits you and discuss the article, suggest ideas for upcoming content, tell us your strong and emotional stories or for any other reason you would like.
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Co-Founder and Co-Writer
The “Being a Midwife” team
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